Publisher: Double Eleven Developer: Coffee Stain Studios Players: 1-4 Genre: Goat Simulator Launch Date: 17/04/15 Price: 7.99/$9.99 Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a goat, rampaging around a city center destroying anything and everything that is in your path? If, like me, the answer to this question is no of course not, if you did you would of been locked up in a cell by now, but either way ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of Goat Simulator where you can do just that. Originally released on Steam on 1st April 2014, this game quickly picked up a cult following, which has culminated in it being ported over to consoles, as well as Android and iOS, but the million dollar question is this; how does it play? Well, luckily for you all I have spent some quality time with my double jumping, jetpack wearing devil goat, and it's been a mixed bag. Gameplay - 6/10 The goat you start off with in your game is no ordinary goat, if you thought that the simulator part of the game would mean you simply walk around in a field eating grass then you could not be further from the truth, if you don't believe me just ask the poor chap at the top of the crane who I launched across the map with a vicious headbutt.....this goat has attitude, and is not afraid about showing it. The premise is simple, you have a choice of 2 areas that you can play in, one is a small town village, the other a city filled with cars, stores to explore, as well as a theme park. Once you have chosen the area you wish to play in, your next step is to choose your mutators, adding these provides your goat with a variety of extras, from simple things like able to double jump, through to more extreme options such as being able to party while wearing the head of Deadmau5. Once you've picked what crazy extras you want your goat to have and started the game, you'll see that the area you've picked initially seems to not have a great deal to do, you have tasks to do that are listed at the side of the screen, which start off simple, such as 'jump over an obstacle', and the game implements a Tony Hawk Skater style scoring system for racking together combos, you can even pull a goat manual to extend your combo, it's simple but effective. Once you've mastered the controls your free to explore whatever backdrop you've chosen, you can interact with various objects by headbutting them, jumping on them, or licking them, if you lick them you then drag whatever it is you've licked with you, whether it be a boulder or a human, and that's pretty much it, there are no intricate moves or new skills to learn (although you can find new mutators) and once you've explored both areas there isn't a great deal else to do, once the initial hilarity wears off there really isn't much in the way of substance to the game, although when it is fun the time flies by, I've not laughed as much as I did while playing this for a long time, the physics in this game are crazy, glitches occur constantly, but instead of detracting from the game they actually give it a lot of it's charm, which needs me nicely onto the next part of the review.

Broke plate...Broke neck?
Graphics - 4/10 Surely you didn't come into this game expecting to see Forza Horizon 2 style graphics.....did you?? On a serious note, the game was never destined to win any major awards, it's a game done on a budget, and it shows, the textures are bland, the colour palette isn't overly rich, and the fact that this game can be purchased on iOS and Android shows that it isn't putting any real pressure on the Xbox One processing power, it's simple, and does the job, it would have been nice if you could customize the goat, or even to have had a few more areas to explore, as they are quite generic, what's in the game is ok, what really makes it fun though is the constant glitching, the goat has a head that glitches through objects and bounces around like his/her neck is made of jelly, it looks hilarious when your goat climbs a ladder when pretty much your entire body is nowhere near it, where most games patch their glitches as quickly as possible, this game embraces them, and it adds to the charm.

Penguin Simulator 2015
Sound - 4/10 The one thing that you'll remember about this game sound wise is the absolutely awful music, it repeats throughout the game, constantly, at first it doesn't really standout, but after playing the game for a few hours it quickly begins to grate, there are a few areas in the game where the music changes slightly, there is one area that adds a bit of dubstep to the proceedings, and there's also an area of the game that features music from Deadmau5, who recorded a track especially for the game, but there isn't a cast soundtrack to listen too, just the same track repeating over and over again. The sound effects are not too bad, listening to the goat lick various objects is often funny, the soundbites from the npc's are also quite funny, you'll often hear people comment on how they were once sacrificed by a goat, for example, but these also repeat after a while, since the game is only 4-5 hours long it isn't too much of an issue, but you'll still pick up on this fairly early in the game.

Goat Vs Truck, Goat Win due to unfair advantage + demonic powers
Difficulty - 1/10 Since there aren't really any start or end goals to achieve in this game it makes it a little difficult to rate this game on difficulty, it's free-roam, so you go where you please, do as you please, whenever you please, it's that simple, it's pick up and play, you could give the control pad to someone who has never played an xbox before and be confident that within 10-15 minutes they'll be jumping around without a care in the world, the only thing that can be difficult in this game are a few of the achievements, which we'll discuss below.

Just another day in paradise
Achievements - 8/10 One area where this game excels is the achievements, clearly the publishers understand the draw of achievements as they've clearly put a lot of time and effort into what you have to do, and also the naming of them. particular highlights include an achievement (Alexander Goatstafsson) where you have to fight a goat for 5 rounds, or another (Goats 'n' Stuff) where you have to host your own concert, which concludes with you headbutting Deadmau5 off of the top of a hotel roof. They are great fun to get, and pretty easy, there are a few collectables within the game that take some serious searching, but there are plenty of guides available if you really get stuck. Be warned though, there is one achievement that is likely to induce a lot of rage, and that is 'Flappy Goat', the premise is simple, score 10 points playing Flappy Goat, the reality however is that the collision detection is terrible and you will often fail even though your character has cleared where it needs to go through, think Flappy Bird, but a lot, lot worse. Overall This game while it lasts is a lot of fun, you'll laugh at the crazy goings on with your gravity defying goat, but unfortunately there isn't a great deal to keep you in the game once you've got all the achievements. It's quirky, consistently silly, but ultimately there isn't much here to keep you playing for more then a few hours, if your an achievement hunter after a relatively easy 1000 Gamerscore then I'm sure you'll have already decided to pick this up, if however you want to play this just for fun then you won't be getting a great deal for your cash.

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